IN CASE OF EMERGENCY … DON’T CALL ME

I think I’ve all told you that I’m not good in emergency situations. Example #293: Charlie and I were on his way to parents’ place Easter Sunday. I was driving in the slow lane on a popular two-lane highway through town. A couple cars ahead of me, a little red car slowly makes a right hand turn into a local restaurant’s parking lot. Of course, this process leads to the cars behind the little red to slow down or practically stop. With my cat-like reflexes, I slow down — almost stop — with the traffic ahead of me. I attempt to scoot into the speeding lane, but a high number of cars racing by shut down that brilliant idea. So I’m stuck.

I glance in the rearview mirror, and I see a little blue car speeding toward the bumper of my beautiful Vue. I can’t move. Speeding cars totally clog the left lane, and the cars ahead of me aren’t budging. So what do I do in this terrifying moment? I scream, “Noooooooooo!” at the top of my lungs, scaring the bejesus out of Charlie. Luckily, the stupid little blue car slowed down just in time and the cars in front of me started to inch forward. Whew! Dodged that bullet.

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