A TITANIC DECISION

While listening to Tina Fey’s audiobook, “Bossypants,” she and her husband were talking about a specific scene in the movie, “Titanic.” Her husband wasn’t too pleased to hear that Tina would’ve stayed on the emergency boat instead of jumping back on the ship. Tina explained if she stays on the boat, then her husband would be able to climb on the broken wooden raft thingy and wait for help. In the movie, the piece of wood could only support Rose and Jack dies because he’s in the freezing water.

Charlie thought I would do the same thing — stay on the emergency boat. He was absolutely wrong. Does he not know that he’s the love of my life? My Prince Charming? I don’t want to live without him. So, I would totally attempt to jump back onto the ship to be with him. Charlie was a little surprised to hear that and thought the idea was incredibly stupid. If there was a chance that both of us would die on a sinking ship, then I would want to die with him. Or be rescued with him.

However, I would not want to be that older couple in the movie that lays in bed, holding hands, as cold freezing water surrounds them. One, I couldn’t die that way even if Charlie was by my side. Two, with water surrounding me, my instinct would be to run or try to survive somehow. Three, I couldn’t just lay in bed and drown. And I can’t imagine Charlie being ready to die in bed with water surrounding him. If I was going to die a sinking ship, I would probably head to the kitchen area and eat all the sweets I could find — ice cream, chocolate, cookies. At that point, my diabetes can just suck it.

Anyway, Charlie said he would be mad at me if I didn’t stay on the life boat. If I stay on the life boat, then he would be able to survive on a floating piece of wood. If I stay with him, then we both die or I would at least live. Either way, I’m not going to listen to him. If Charlie and I were on a sinking ship, I would stick to him like glue because I am a disaster in emergency situations. Some people would turn into heroes and know what to do. I’m the opposite — I would turn into a mess and be a liability for everyone. Hmmmmm, maybe I should just stay on the life boat.

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