GOODBYE, PHONE BACKGAMMON — I HATE YOU

I don’t like the word hate because it’s a pretty strong word. But I hate hate hate hate my backgammon on my phone. It’s a cheater. Seriously. After a serious thought of throwing my phone against a wall, I started to play the computer on Level 4 — less cheating. The computer on Level 5 is a serious cheat. I’m not alone. I read a couple of reviews regarding the game, and one user used all caps to state that Level 5 is a serious cheat. I think he was a little upset. I don’t blame him.

When one of my pieces is blotted, I need four to five rolls to get back in the game. When one of the computer’s pieces is blotted — guess what happens — one roll is needed. And who rolls doubles three times in a row during the final portion of the game? Seriously, the dice seem to favor the computer more than the human player.

Yes, I make dumb  mistakes here and there in the game of backgammon, and the computer has every right to pounce on my mistakes. Completely understandable. But how come I don’t get the chance to pounce when the computer leaves like two or three piece open? Hello, opportunity. But when I roll the dice, I don’t get the numbers I need to pounce. And I completely understand that I won’t get the numbers I need on every roll, but I become highly suspicious and irritated when the dice favor the computer.

Here the stats between me and computer Level 5. Number of matches won (first one who wins three rounds wins the match). I’ve won 39 matches. The computer has won 59 matches. Seriously, I am NOT a terrible player. Rounds won: me, 97 — computer, 141. Total points scores: me, 103 — computer, 159. Opponent pieces hit: me, 367 — computer, 428. And doesn’t these particular stats paint the picture the computer has an “advantage”? When a piece is open, I will seize every opportunity to jump on it. Even if playing against a 87-year-old woman. Or a 8-year-old kid. No mercy. And finally, doubles rolled: me, 901 — computer, 983. Hello, big fat cheater.

I couldn’t give up the game completely, so I switched to Level 4. At first, I had a good time playing against Level 4 until it started to cheat. I was so excited to find a free game of backgammon for my phone. So, can you imagine my disappointment that I’m playing against a cheater? My phone is pretty new, and Charlie wouldn’t be very happy to find it smashed in pieces because I threw it against the wall. To prevent myself from possibly throwing my phone against the wall, I need to uninstall the game.

Goodbye, backgammon, goodbye. Hello, Angry Birds.

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