ALLEGED BREWERS’ FAN BUSTED

I don’t know that much about sports. Well, I know the rules to most sports, but I don’t keep up with players, salaries, stats, etc. What else do I know? Most people in the state of Wisconsin love the Badgers, the Packers, and the Brewers. Even though I haven’t watched a football game so far this season, I believe the Packers are doing pretty well. My observation is based on my friends’ Facebook statuses and the morning news on the radio.

During my morning drive to work Thursday, I was half listening to the news announcer talking about the big Brewers game last night (Friday night). The team won the first games on its own turf (Miller Park?) and then lost two games in Arizona (Diamondbacks home state, right?). Both teams returned to Wisconsin on Friday for the fifth and final game. Apparently, the state of Wisconsin was pretty excited about the big game. And this is all the information I know about the Brewers.

I spent my Thursday night doing laundry instead of watching “Community” and “The Office.” A very nice young couple were drying their clothes and comforters near my set of dryers. The guy tried to convince his wife that the comforters were dry enough to fold. The wife didn’t want any damp spots on any of the items and kept adding more time to the dryers. The guy said, “We need to hurry! I’m missing the Brewers game.” And then I opened my big fat mouth: “Um, I think the game is tomorrow night.” The wife: “Ha! You’re so busted! What the hell?” (I actually might be paraphrasing her words)

The guy looked a little irritated at me when he asked: “Are you sure the game is tomorrow night?” I quickly replayed the news announcer’s story in my mind: “Yes, the fifth game is tomorrow night.” The alleged Brewers fan: “The fifth game? Tomorrow night?” Me: “Brewers won the first two games here and lost the next two in Arizona.” Wife: “Ha! We’re staying until everything is dry. Suck it.” (she might not have said the last two words)

The moral of the story? One, I’m actually listening to the morning news. I’m an informed citizen who has been updated with the latest news from around the state and nation. Two, never ever lie to your wife about a sports game (or anything else). The truth will eventually come out and give the wife amazing power. Three, I was mistaken for a Brewers fan. Um, what is a Brewer?

P.S. When you find a tube of shimmery lip gloss/chapstick in the dryer, DO NOT open it over the heap of clean clothes. I found myself staying another 20 minutes to wash a few items streaked with shimmery lip gloss. Lesson learned.

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