WHEN DID I GET OLD?

I’m so old. A very sad realization. A few weeks in at my new job, I realized I was seriously the oldest staff member in the office. I’m older than the office manager. I’m older than the doctor. When my age was revealed after several guesses (thanks for guessing in the twenties, co-workers!), everyone was surprised. I love the “let’s guess Jenn’s age” game because people freak out when my real age is revealed. I love it. But that’s not the sad realization.

Due to the new job, I have a somewhat lengthy commute — about 10 to 15 minutes (10 to 12 minutes if I hit all the green lights). During the drive to work, I like to listen to the radio for the latest news. And I can’t believe I’m about to say this: sometimes I have to listen to some really crap music before the news segment starts. How old am I? Once upon a time, I loved the Top 40 music. Debbie Gibson. The New Kids on the Block. Whitney Houston. Madonna. Janet Jackson. I’m totally dating myself, but whatever. I like to think the singers I once loved had real talent — no autotune, no studio magic. Talent. Real. Beautiful.

I’m not totally old school. I don’t mind some of Rihanna’s music (her new song, “We Found Love,” is very catchy), Katy Perry isn’t too bad, Lady Gaga has a few good songs, and Adele is aaaaamazing. On a side note: radio stations are totally overplaying her latest song “Someone Like You.” Good song, but radio stations play it waaaaay too much. I love Lady Antebellum, Sugarland, Natasha Bedingfield, Train, The Fray, etc. But the songs I like to listen to aren’t played very much and are far and in between (did I use that phrase right?). When did I become an adult? I’m listening to the dumb adult contemporary radio station instead of the cool and hip youngster station. I’m so old.

And while I’m on the subject of music: I have a tiny, tiny issue. I now understand why my dad wanted to audit my music when I was younger. For the longest time, he wouldn’t let me listen to one of the Bangles’ albums because one of the songs was about suicide. I was miserable for weeks because I LOOOOVED the Bangles — hello, my favorite band! But my dad eventually wised up and realized I was listening to all sorts of music on the radio. He couldn’t stop that — well, I’m sure he could if he really wanted to. But now I understand his actions.

Katy Perry’s song “Last Friday Night” has a line about being in a menage trois. First, the song is very catchy, and I loved it when I first heard it. I didn’t really care about the line about the menage trois until I had a conversation with my hair stylist. She has a 10-year-old daughter who loves the song and can sing every word. However, she doesn’t understand every word — she asked her mom what menage trois meant. My hair stylist wisely replied that she would explain it when her daughter was old enough to understand. Fair enough.

And I love, love, love Lady Antebellum’s “Need You Now” until all the radio stations overplayed it. The song is honest and real and incredibly relatable. I love singing the song in my car. However, do young kids really know what they’re singing about, especially with this line: “It’s a quarter after one — I’m a little drunk — and I need you now.” Is it just me, but doesn’t anyone else find that a little creepy to hear a kid sing a line about being drunk and needing someone? Once again, when did I become so old? Aaaaagh! Next thing I know I’m wearing a bright-colored polka dotted housecoat and yelling at young kids to stay off my lawn.

Not to mention, if Charlie kicks it before me, I’m totally having more than two cats in my house. And then my sisters will probably stage an intervention and tell me that I’m an animal hoarder, which I will totally deny and tell them that all of my cats are my little babies and can’t give up any of them because I would probably die without them. Wow, that picture is kind of sad. Reason #57 why Charlie can’t kick it before me.  🙂

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