I NEED SLEEP!

I’m tired. So very tired. First, let’s talk about the sleep study that I desperately needed. Sleeping with wires attached to your head and face and wearing two straps (one around my chest area and the other around my tummy) was not very fun or comfortable. The most popular question the sleep specialists hear, “Do people really sleep with all of this stuff on?” The answer is yes. Anyway, I fell asleep around 11 p.m., and the specialist woke me up around 2 a.m. and informed me that I snore and stop breathing about 20 times per hour. Apparently, the sleep specialists just need to two hours of REM sleep to determine whether a person needs a CPAP machine or whatever.

So, the specialist strapped me to a CPAP machine with a face mask covering my nose and mouth because I breathe through my mouth when I sleep. Whatever. May I go back to sleep please? I’m already not looking forward to waking up in four hours, which by the way, I was under the assumption that I got to sleep in. Nope. Nope. Nope. Once the mask has been strapped to my face, I fall back asleep only to have the specialist wake me up again because the mask is too big and is leaking precious air. She fits me with a different mask that requires me to breathe through my nose and not my mouth.

cpap

At this point, I’m not tired anymore. After playing with my cellphone for awhile, I fall back asleep on my side and vaguely remember the specialist instructing me to move to my back via an intercom above my bed. A few hours later, the specialist wakes me up and gives me a few minutes and apple juice before she rips the wires from my head. I’m tired. I’m feeling gross due to an oil the specialist used to remove the electrodes. And I’m getting hungry. Tired. Feeling gross. Hungry. Not a very good combination for this girl. Charlie is a wonderful man for knowing these factors make me an incredibly angry and cranky witch.

The doctor waltzes in around 7:30 a.m. and spends five minutes with us, pointing out the obvious. I need a CPAP. I stop breathing in my sleep. Blah blah blah. May I go back to bed please? I’m so very tired. Nope. A specialist from the medical equipment department will stop by the room in 30 minutes to show us how to use the CPAP and fit me for a better mask. The machine seems pretty easy to use — I didn’t really pay too much attention to the demonstration because I was really tired, cranky, and hungry. I was smart enough to have Charlie return to my room in the morning because I knew I wouldn’t be able to function properly.

pillow

Anyway, I have yet to get a good night’s sleep with the CPAP. The mask the medical equipment specialist though would be perfect for me was too big. I always felt my head was too big, but I guess my facial features are small. Any movement I make with my head or face causes the mask to leak air. With the medical equipment department not available over the weekend and its schedule completely booked Mondays, I remained on the futon in the living room until I received a new mask. Charlie and I did everything possible to make the mask work, but in the end, my facial features are too small for a small mask.

I desperately want a good night’s sleep. Some of my friends seem to know someone who has a CPAP and loves it. I’ve been told that people with CPAP machines feel energized and refreshed in the morning. These special people cannot live without the machine, and their significant others cannot sleep without the gentle whirl of the machine. I want to be one of these special people. I want to feel refreshed in the morning. I highly doubt the CPAP will make me a morning person, but feeling refreshed would be a great change. As much as I love sleeping on the futon, I want to sleep in my bed again.

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